So I am one of those weird ladies that loves flying. Arriving at the airport luggage firmly gripping your hand, watching passerby's hurry off to unknown destinations, the smell of Cinnabon, and walking through the tunnel onto that plane is an adrenaline rush for me. I am also weird and I know this. On the latter end, when I board a plane and see a small child about to crawl and drool all over me for the next 12 hours life becomes a bottomless pit of despair. Over the years, I have honed in on some full proof ways to get through long flights. I believe you can fly, by R. Kelly & Kathryn Reale.
Go Down Memory Lane
Remember that party you went to in college that was around-the-world themed and you dressed as a Mexican, put your phone in your front pocket, ran belligerently into a doorway and shattered the damn thing? Yeah, nobody else does either. I can kill hours upon hours of time going through my computer or phone just laughing or staring at questionable hair/outfit choices from way back when. This requires you to have at least one smart device with you, a phone will do, or even a computer for maximum past photos and videos. Time flies by when you are trying to remember all the fun you had.
Go the F*!? to Sleep
More important than this blog post, if you haven't seen this video please click above and laugh your ass off. I do not plan to procreate any time soon, but if I did this book would be my first purchase. Same applies for flying, especially extensively long periods of time with huge time change jumps. Once you arrive, you'll feel refreshed and ready to start your day or night in a new place. Now, I am not going to take responsibility for whatever drugs get you there, but personally I am a melatonin/Advil PM girl. Nobody wants to see a colonial woman on the wing churning butter in traditional garments.
Join the Mile High..Stretching Club?
I will surly admire anyone that does downward dog in the middle of an airplane, but I am not going to be one of those people. Stretching is actually fantastic to do on long flights because it gets the blood flowing in your body and nobody wants a blood clot in a confined space. So do yourself a favor, and stretch. Airplane bathrooms are freaking small, I understand that. But honestly if people can have sex in there, you can manage to do a quad stretch. I recommend an easy quad stretch (lifting one leg behind you and grabbing your foot) or even putting the seat cover down, lay your leg straight and try to grab your toe. This is not a pretty tip, however if you read my blog that's not really what you signed up for..
I used to be one of those people that actually wore normal clothes on flights and I could punch past Kathryn in the face. Getting comfortable is going to contribute largely to going the f*!k to sleep (see above). More to come on outfit choices, but wear some versatile leggings, large billowy shirt (who sleeps in tight anything?), neck pillow, and your top gear to ensure a comfortable sleep that your airline will most likely provide for you: mask, slippers, blanket (be mindful of this), the whole 9. I also recommend stowing a pair of socks in your carry on if you are not already wearing them, comfy feet is a huge plus.
Drink a S&$! Ton of Water
It is really no secret that you get dehydrated AF on planes. Pack a water bottle and really focus on quenching your thirst. Your body & health will thank you for it, however your neighbors probably will not after you pee 27 times. Screw them! Pack your own water bottle to really annoy a flight attendant or even get your legs moving and meet one halfway. Added bonus: practicing speaking skills with said flight attendant. Flying can literally be hooked on phonics.
Channel Your Inner Bob Ross
Drawing is a real time sucker, especially if you suck at it like myself. Better idea? Color! Buy a coloring book and some pencils. Seriously, nothing like trying to replicate a water color to really waste time. I would go for colored pencils as opposed to paint because you do not want to get that shit on your clothes plus people are going to stare.
Any bright ideas? Shoot them down below! I'll be painting mystic mountain.